Friday, August 22, 2014
People I've lost so far
Girlfriend asphyxiated on expired luxury toothpaste on our simulated honeymoon.
Little cousin Victor was ritual cleansed and shunned after directing Christmas traffic naked.
Grandfather was whipped to death for having a Jewish sock puppet with the catchphrase "Auschwitz hasn't aged well."
Father was squashed by refugees in his penthouse.
Elder Emil was convicted of grand sodomy after several congregators had earned a German snorkeling badge.