Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
Girlfriend asphyxiated on expired luxury toothpaste on our simulated honeymoon.
Little cousin Victor was ritual cleansed and shunned after directing Christmas traffic naked.
Grandfather was whipped to death for having a Jewish sock puppet with the catchphrase "Auschwitz hasn't aged well."
Father was squashed by refugees in his penthouse.
Elder Emil was convicted of grand sodomy after several congregators had earned a German snorkeling badge.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
"It was just the pipes in my heart of hearts."
"Bingo! Death threats to beggars written in invented languages."
"Halfway through the nursing habit I milked myself into a corner."
"The finished fresco shows the moose mating."
"You wouldn't know wry if it pissed in your eye."
"I've got dusty hands but I would never boil danger."
"You wouldn't want to take the taste out of someone's mouth.
I joined the military and became a sniper's lollipop."
"Oh no, cerebellum, you're not going out wearing that."
"I love you to bits and all that but I knew I shouldn't have breastfed you."