8 and a half things you don't know about me

1. My penis is called Swing. My balls are called Babe and Ruth.

2. I was raised a boiled potato.

3. I'm writing an erotic sequel to Twilight called Barnyard After Dark.

4. I think there should be an opera about urinating called Whizzoletto.

5. My eyebrows need two bottles of Smelly Pet Shampoo.

6. I am the Grand Marshal Commander of wanking. Before that I was the Grand Vice-Marshal Commander of wanking, but I promoted myself.

7. "Francis in the Haunted House", starring Mickey Rooney and Francis the Talking Mule, is the story of my life.

8. The inflatable female bus drivers in my garage are not for sale.

½. If it weren't for my luscious cheeks, I wouldn't have