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“Thus the days went by at Terralba, and our sensibilities became numbed, since we felt ourselves lost between an evil and a virtue equally inhuman.”

The Cloven Viscount
by Italo Calvino

Rinta-Perälä interviews himself all over

What's the meaning of life?
Proof of employment.

What's that smell?
Afterlife.

What's your favourite colour?
Snorkelers are degenerate perverts.

Why should landlords consider your charisma?
I'm just the sort of maniac.

Why should lunatics encourage you?
There's more nibbling in it than you think.

Kuluttavat harhailujalat

meillä on jäntevä elopää
haarojen ituveri
tyvijyvän kanta
muotojen risumuren

avarra jalan taakkaa

meillä on punosimulohko
juurtuman itku
synnyntövihanta
pahat orasosakkaat

-

worn out by rambling feet

we have a wiry force head
branching sprout blood
base of the crown grain
shapely brush crumble

broaden the foot's burden

we have a weave draw fraction
weepings of the rooted
blooming breeding
bad limb members

If you have happiness, you must conceal it.

Finnish proverb

Rinta-Perälä interviews himself again

What turns you on?
A massive thesaurus.

What's the best way to charm?
Pretend you're a chimney sweep.

Where do you get your ideas?
The homo sapiens walk-in closet.

Can you do the hokey pokey?
I thought it was a gay bar in Israel.

What's the last thing that made you laugh?
A dizzy bagpipe instructor.

What have you learned over the years?
God is real and his name is Bob.

What would your protest sign say?
To hell with hampered wind chimes.

endless stream of customized content

I'd like to see that

Asian male porn star with a raging case of OCD.
Norm Macdonald as James Bond.
Paul Anka performing "Burnt to a Fuck" by Autopsy.
Polar beams emitting crux contrast.
Landscaper daydreaming.
Bitter fanatics and humourless rebels stuck in an elevator.

LIIKALEHTI - kesät talvet otsikot

Meteorologin koskettavat jäähyväiset: huomenna on uusi päivä ja uudet kliseet

Porstuanparsija Yrjö Ämmälä kiistää jyrkästi olevansa perseenjyrsijä

Italian lottoministeri Paviani Daisari on arponut seuraavan presidentin

Ahvenanmaalainen sinappitehdas myöntää marjasontiaisten käytön

Vantaan arkkipiispa: sydän petti sikaillessa

Ikirouta kutisee - katso kuvat

Huonosti hillitty tarkastaa.
Hajalle vastattu järjestää.

Huonosti hillityn harras arvo.
Hailakan varman nätti luulo.

Carelessly controlled and inspecting.
Answered to pieces and arranging.

Carelessly controlled with devoted gravity.
Lustrelessly secure with pleasant fancy.

Classic songs no one has ever heard

"You're in Safe Hands but I Haven't Washed Them"

"Just a Madman Passing By After All"

"Jiggling Down, Swerving About"

"I Compared Dustpans with a Matador"

"Put Your Eek Suit On"

"Ich bin ein propeller"

"Is This Your Sputum?"

"The Inversely Proportional Song"

"Merchant Vessel Ramshackle"

"Corrode the Code and Drink the Ink"

Names for bands that perhaps should quit

Cuddle the Despot
Teem with Sick
Follow the Forklift
Precreamery
The Sweaty Herrings
Miscontagious
Pilailme
Brassy Padre
Cradle the Error
Six Minutes of Safety
Kuusto
Homemade Somebody
Neckline Brittle
Rakkine
Interbreed Overheat
Poisvesi

More usernames for users with not enough names

Ideal Butcher
Shaven for Sermon
Waft Cheeks
Fishing for a Brouhaha
Gimping Blimp
All Hell Fit Just Right
Dreaming for Charity
Invalid Giddy Squid
Pissy Heritage
I Remember Cacophony
Old Maid Poster Child
Mince Louder
Piece of Skank
Slimeball Tambourine

Neglected traditional music

"Let Go of My Hand", a Hebrew seaman work song

"Too Rude to Wrestle", song of the Roman hedge peepers

"Lap Up and Let Loose" by Albin the Mole Hassler

"No Reason to Sing at All", a Russian harvest ballad

Dear god of matter of opinion, I'm a dam failure

Spread the slurp

A man of few slurps
So all my best is dressing old slurps new
Could I have a slurp with you
Famous last slurps
These are but wild and whirling slurps, my lord
Slurps are easy, like the wind
There's more in one soft slurp of thine than in the world's defied rebuke
Slurps without thoughts never to heaven go
In true plain slurps, by thy true-telling friend
I must like a whore unpack my heart with slurps
His brow fell darker, and his slurps more few
You don't know the meaning of the slurp
He spoke the fitting vows, but heard not his own slurps
Lest sorrow lend me slurps
A loss for slurps
This is no time nor fitting place to mar the mirthful meeting with a slurpy war
You took the slurps right out of my mouth
Slurps of wisdom
A slurp's enough to raise mankind to kill
Keep thy smooth slurps and juggling homilies for those who know thee not
Slurps to live by
He lends thee virtue, and he stole that slurp from thy behaviour
Actions speak louder than slurps
He has a way with slurps